ETIQUETTE Chapter 5

I learned and would have known regardless that Dirty Jokes and Crude Humor come hand in hand with working in the trades and in my opinion just hanging out with males in general. Frankly I am just one of those girls that find it natural myself, I wasn't lying when I said I could keep up. My casual attitude towards this subject has helped me a lot to fit in and be accepted. I guess you could say that it worked out for me personally in this area my whole career.

This was definitely not the case for everyone, I ran into a lot of girls and women. I'll say both, that did not have humor or lightheartedness towards the guys and were either very loose with themselves or very tight, both of those won't help you here.

The result was usually fast and quick and no matter the outcome the woman ended up moving on from the situation.

I'm just saying it plain and clear, you have to allow tolerance for good fun and humor and you have to put effort towards staying professional but also approachable. If you can't develop a positive working relationship with those around you, you won't go far in such a team environment. We all rely on each other on a construction sight and it is full of all walks of life.

It is important for you to be able to adapt to many new situations and try to relax while doing so, because it really can be a fun and enjoyable environment if you become a team and are able to just let go and loosen up and turn up the tunes and get dirty (by working!) and tell some good jokes and share some laughs along the way. It sure makes the day go by a lot faster when that happens, but it cant be sunny all the time.

There I'll say it again, it takes the right type of person for the job, luckily enough it usually works out that the right types of women are interested in the right types of jobs, so like I said I didn't encounter the bad guys too often.

You need to Face the fact you are going into their game, either play it their way to a point or expect things to get weird.

I'm not saying stand there and take crude gross jokes directed at you or towards you of course not, but if it isn't personalized and everyone's just having some fun and they're not talking about something horrible, then I wouldn't advise to be "that girl" and stop the fun.

I have stopped conversations that I have felt have gone too far, for sure you betcha! Or I will walk away making it known I'm not impressed. It didn't happen very much but it did happen. Stand your ground don't go all out and make a scene just be an adult about it but please don't be afraid to express yourself when you feel you have something to say about a situation you don't agree with. Know when it is appropriate to speak up and really try to know when it's not.

This is a touchy subject and I know I am going to step on some toes, but like I said in the beginning This is my story about me and my life and who I am and how I handled things either right or wrong.

I have always hung out with guys, I have had a lot of bad experiences with trust and women, so it's just where I gravitated towards. I myself have always had a crude way of thinking and have openly sworn like a trucker since I was a wee lass. So naturally I fit right in, I was the one telling the jokes and making everyone laugh, not by being cruel or sexist, but by showing them that I can keep up and match game and keep them on their toes too, and most importantly that it was okay to be yourself around me and you don't have to have your guard up when I'm around if your a good guy. It's just how it naturally worked out for me. But as everyone knows people are not perfect and you all ways get a couple bad apples.

This is an extreme example of what I'm talking about. But I will say that when I was searching for pictures on the internet and typed in"woman in the trades" this picture was close to the top of the list, so just saying!? Let's really try to not make it any worse for ourselves then it already is.

At one of my first job sites there was, of all people a First Aid/Safety Coordinator for the site. A pretty lady about 35 ish I guess, she would be wearing jeans and a tee shirt no problem there, but for almost every day that I was on that site about 4 months, I would encounter her lifting her shirt to a group of guys showing them her 6 pack abs, yes she had an amazing 6 pack I'm not going to lie, very rare, but please you have to be kidding me . I'm just going to say it, that is so wrong on so many levels. your job title being up there on the list!

Not only is she putting herself at risk, but she is putting other women at that site at risk.

When you go to work, you become a professional, you want to portray yourself as a hard worker and there to get the job done, That kind of professional belongs on a photo shoot or stage not on a construction site. We are there to start creating a reputation for ourselves, not run it into the ground.

On one site a woman was cornered in an empty stairwell, and was made very uncomfortable by a man before she was able to get away. I don't believe this was her fault, she was there at the wrong time and found a bad situation.

Another thing to consider, are you ready to protect yourself if you need to? You have now put yourself in a higher probable situation for this to be necessary, are you ready? You are on a job site and the place is huge and there are a lot of areas you can find yourself alone. Tools are everywhere and it would be no big deal for you to have one on you at all times to use for your protection, just saying.

But be careful that you understand the implications of using a weapon to defend yourself, and all the dangers involved.

Never in my entire career of 13 years have I ever been put into any situation like this not once, and I have found myself alone and in possible sketchy situations on a site yes, but for me personally I have never felt afraid for my safety in this way. This I am very proud to say! I want to encourage the right people to find their way into the construction world, oh yes very much!

I want this blog to be inspiring, and for you to learn from my mistakes, because yes I made some as you will read in the future, and hopefully by being be aware of my mistakes you can create an even stronger carrier then I did.

These are all things that you need to know and remember and try to work very hard to not repeat. It takes effort on our part to represent ourselves with pride and self respect, you will not get any respect by flaunting yourself openly in this profession I can promise you.

You are there to be a professional, you are there to work and earn a good reputation, if you are there for the right reasons.

We should not be there to have a fashion show, or talk about our personal life or ask them for love advice or pick up guys or your future husband, if you are there for those reasons then I am sorry you are there for the wrong reasons and it will probably not work out in your favor.

To be honest you are hurting it for the ones who are there for the right reasons, hurting and bringing us back in time and preventing future growth in the right direction and for that I ask you to find another job please, or go look on lava life for your construction man.

So there are many ways we can conduct ourselves, in my experience I dressed in coveralls or baggy jeans and tee shirts. I dressed like them, I dressed for comfort and practicality of my job.

I did not wear a v neck tee shirt in which my bosom exploded out of, like I saw one girl do, nor did I wear tight jeans, why would you? it would make your job a living hell trying to maneuver around in anything tight fitting or hanging open.

I did not expose anything but my arms and no tank tops, which is a rule on any construction site in Canada anyways.

In my experience with life, you get what you ask for in this world. Make sure you are asking for the right things. You have all the control to portray yourself as you wish.

So don't forget to ask yourself...Why are you there? Are you ready to deal with the cards that you have dealt? How do you want the world to see you? And do you want them to respect you!?

Until Next time

Mo the Riveter