I am Woman Chapter 4

 We Can Do It!

  Me, Mo the Riveter! 

So I'm sitting there, it's my first day of school. I'm in a class of about 12 guys (the class size was small for this semester) it would normally be around 16 to 20 people.

So everyone's pretty quiet, some of them know each other, some of the guys around me are asking me questions and were lightly joking around introducing themselves to each other. Everyone is from all walks of life and of course there are the few that are outspoken and jokers that are helping lighten the mood and making everyone feel more comfortable and relaxed (I love those kinds of guys!)

I decided due to my complete lack of knowledge in the subject of sheet metal, to take the longer introductory course that was 5 months long instead of the 6 week 1st year apprenticeship course, which someone would take if they are already in the field or have experience and knowledge already. So definitely not me, so it was nice to be next to people who have also never used a measuring tape or picked up a hammer.

I know that there is an introductory course called "Intro into the Trades" where I think it's still a 6 week course, but during that time you get to spend a day or more in all of the different trades. You really get a chance to see into the world of that trade and see the tools you'll use and you get to play around with some.

I had weeded out a lot of my choices already, so I didn't do this, but it seemed like a great option for people who have no idea what to get into, for both men and women. It costs a lot of money to go to school as we all know, so we have to know what we want before making a costly mistake. So it is really cool that most schools offer such courses.

So we are all sitting there and I'm terrified, nervous, and sweating but amazingly I'm holding it all together because I'm smiling and joking around and just trying to keep my mind off of what I was about to embark on. I was having second thoughts because I was late to the game and I was 28 years old and everyone else was like 5 years younger then me, so that didn't make me feel any better.

So here in walks our teacher, this very darkly tanned, older gentleman with think stock white hair and a full thick white mustache that just contrasted with his face so brightly and of course a bright pink Hawaiian shirt with at least 3 large gold chains around his neck and a gold ring on every other finger. He just looked like he stepped off a cruise ship, leaving the penthouse suite. 

He flashes us a big white smile and says "Are you guys ready to make some MONEY!?". We all started to laugh and he looked right at me and I watched his dark tanned face pale a bit actually, and he started to apologize for the "guys" comment. 

And so starts the beginning of my biggest pet peeve. I just want to be included and not singled out, I've always just wanted to be just one of the guys, one of the gang however you want to say it, just please don't single me out! Not Now Not like this!!! LOL Good Lord! 

Well I just interrupted him with a big smile and said no need sir, please I'm here now with all of you and we're a team and now a group, I keep my smile because I feel it, I've expected it this and it's not the first time by any means. It's really not a big deal but how I deal with this now will determine everything for the future, and I'm not wrong on this.

I tell them all with a laugh and a smile that "I would like to be considered just one of the guys, just like this guy here" I say and I point to the dude next to me, "I just look different but please know my sense of humor is probably dirtier than any of yours! So please don't do anything different on my account for that is when you make me feel uncomfortable, I will laugh right along with you if not beat you at your game so long as you're respectful to me I'll be respectful to you so lets just have fun and learn some shit".

This really happened! and yes I had to deal with my femininity right away! That was partly my choice, but it was also put on the table so I took the opportunity. 

I have always been outspoken and definitely not shy, so it goes with who I am. 

I know not everyone is like that, but the situation can play out in many different ways with a positive outcome in the end regardless, it just depends on you. I made it clear I don't want to be treated differently just let me be here and they got it, simple and I did it with a true smile and good humor.

I think that by me doing this and speaking out the way I did to everyone, when I did and how I did it, was the best thing that I could have done in that situation. I guess everyone was thinking one thing or another, and in one moment I brought us all together in humor, laid it all on the table, and what I said made everyone relax and laugh and I think after that, it was just never a thought again with  those guys. To this day those guys hold a most special place in my heart due to how much of a team we actually became in those 5 month and after that because we all ended up at the same job placement after school too. 

My teacher still slipped up and tried to correct himself every time he grouped me in as a guy, in fact that's why I said it was a big pet peeve because it was the most constant thing I had to correct or bother over repeatedly over my career.

Maybe there are a lot of women out there that like to be referred to in only feminine terms or only addressed as your own entity, but I myself never liked that and it always bothered me to be singled out and highlighted.

The big bosses in charge always had a hard time remembering to not do it, but that is because they work in a different world.

I said it earlier as well, it will only matter if you make it matter.

In my experience in all of these crazy 12 years, is that when first dealing with people, the majority were always reserved and careful when first meeting me, or I'd walk into a room and everyone goes quiet, or I walk towards a group of people talking and they stop talking, I'm sure we have all experienced this to some degree. But when I notice this happening to me, I would hopefully hear some of what was being said, and find a joke to add as I approach, hopefully one that may be a little crude or inappropriate, with a wicked grin I will hopefully be welcomed with a laugh. This would only have to happen with a person one or two times before I'm being called in and invited to share in said joke without me needing to! This is where I wanted to be, I have always felt that humor and my humor is where I get people to relate with me and how I relate with them. I am not a people person normally and like to keep to my close and trusted friends, but at work I knew that these relationships were crucial to my existence in the Trade Life. So it was so important I got off on the right foot on the right terms with all of the people that I'm about to come across because this is my future and my reputation.

When I said in my first post that you need to ask yourself 3 questions, this is why it's for this moment that you decide how you want people to see you! and to hopefully truly come to terms with how you see yourself.